Why you shouldn't be yourself

Why you shouldn't be yourself

I'm all for authenticity.

Seriously, hiding your quirks and personality can be exhausting because it makes you victim to other people's expectations. You want to act like yourself everywhere you go - your job, your date and out in the public light.

I get it. 

The problem is that trying to be yourself can lead you into a full throttle identity crisis. It's not like you can just push a button and be easy breezy you. That's just not the way it works - and this is a contributor to many of the problems we experience in life. It becomes difficult for us to discern whether we're being ourselves or just someone else. 

To bring justice to this issue I've created some points as to why the paradigm of being yourself is ridiculous. 

It sets unrealistic expectations 

We often come up with a number of different words to describe ourselves. As an example, if you think you're an extrovert then you might automatically assume that you should be capable of doing everything that requires one to be an extrovert - but this isn't how the world works. Sometimes "being ourselves" makes us inadvertently categorize ourselves, making us forget that life offers up tons of crazy circumstances that you can't just expect yourself to mesh with. You only end up letting yourself down. 

It can be inappropriate  

We'll use extroversion as another example here: You're wildly loud, you love laughing, and you're always throwing the next punchline. It goes without saying that you need to adapt to situations differently, because it's not always appropriate to just be yourself. As an example, you might not want to walk into a job interview or a first date telling knock-knock jokes. I know you're probably thinking, how the hell could a person fuck something like this up!? The thing is that it happens all the time. 

It can scare people off

This kind of branches off from the last one, but sometimes you need to let people warm up to you. If you're just balls out YOU, you're going to scare people away, and this is one of the hallmark traits of someone who's socially awkward. Cue the layered onion communication theory. It's unrealistic that you expect people to just love you right away and forgetting it can get you into trouble.  

It's unnatural 

If you're going throughout the day repeating in your head "BE YOURSELF" then the awkwardness you exude will simply permeate your entire soul, catapulting you into a dark nebula of uncertainty, and that's because you're pretty much trying to play a role as though you're an actor. If you're truly being yourself then you're not consciously thinking about being yourself. 

This is a controversial subject so I'll just leave you with a few added thoughts. There's nothing wrong with being yourself as long as it's not contrived based on your or someone else's wild expectations. That just sucks. 

To me, being yourself means just doing your thing. If I could give anyone advice it would be to challenge yourself and to not walk into situations using the word "should" because that's no way to live. Told you I'd be honest. 

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