How mean girls started ruining my life and what I did about it
Mean Girls: We laugh at the movie but in all its hilarity we forget that it's a real problem and it often looks just as ridiculous.
Before I really get started, I think it's important to note that I'm not writing this post to be popular. I'm not doing it to prove a point. I'm not an expert.
I can only speculate based on my own meandering experiences. But just know that this isn't really about me so much as it is for any girl who's been at the receiving end of bullying. I wish I knew all of you because I want to tell you that it will get better.
But sometimes it doesn't.
I think the source of this problem is the fact that we've been trained to be the 'better person.' We're encouraged to move forward in the face of adversity, even when it continues. Inevitably, this becomes difficult. So where do we draw the line?
Here's the thing: What no one tells you about the whole mean girls thing is that it doesn't end after high school. You'll likely experience straight up nefarious behaviour from others as you make your way through college and enter the real world. Hell, it can even happen at work.
But I'm not here to play the blame game because if you think about it, we've all committed this social faux pas to some extent. Even if your actions didn't directly implicate the other person, you've most likely at one point in time acted like less of a person than you really are.
This paradigm is really our baseline, if you haven't already figured it out.
Why can't we treat each other with respect? We don't realize that gossip often goes back to the person we're talking about. We cut other girls emotionally because we (apparently) get jealous. We turn everything into a competition. When that's the case, we need to cut ourselves off. To not make anyone a victim of our own insecurities.
Let's rewind back to one of the situations I've experienced. When I was in Australia a year and a half ago this problem became all too apparent. I went to the bar and a girl threw a drink at the back of my head. It was excruciatingly embarrassing and it was scary because I could have gotten really hurt. I didn't even know this person.
Her move was so callous and selfish that I really began to take a good look at my friends and evaluate who I wanted in my life. I wouldn't be defeated in this girl's poor behaviour and I didn't want to see it happen to any of my friends.
After years of dealing with this problem I wanted to do something about it, so I teamed up with a friend to shoot the following video. It's not perfect - but before you watch it I want to reflect on my conclusion here.
Stand up for yourself. On the flip side, if you don't like someone, you don't have to be best friends, but you should at least be civil. You know, like a real adult.
This post may come off as really negative but I feel optimistic about what women have to offer each other in the future. There are really amazing females out there and I can't even begin to name all of the kind ones who have played a positive role in my life and others. I'm not trying to be Mother Teresa here, but I know we can do a lot better - and we will.
Let me know what you think of this video and issue by leaving a comment below.